Nighttime Musings

"The Lord said to Moses and Aaron, 'Say to the Israelites: ‘Of all the animals that live on land, these are the ones you may eat." - Leviticus 11:1-2

Despite my (often failing) attempts to keep a good attitude about my allergies, God's been teaching me a lot the last few weeks.

To be content.
To rely on him.
To focus on what's really important.

This morning, as I packed my food and water for the day... (sounds like I'm doing something like camping rather than going to class...), God brought something to mind:

"I've called my people to keep from foods before. I want what's best for my children."

I looked down at my bean "meat"balls, goat cheese, and pumpkin seed bar. I looked down at my super healthy meal with no extra added ingredients. No chemicals. No "citric acid" (which, fyi, is made from mold. And it's in all your food. All of it. You're welcome ;) ).

My mind danced around the Bible as I remembered the prophets of the old testament fasting and calling for the nation to return to God. I remembered Esther, who called for fasting as she responded in obedience.

I remembered the Levitical dietary laws. I remembered why I placed them.

My God is a good God. He wants what's best for his children.

My God placed the dietary laws of the OT to keep his chosen people safe.

My God didn't place laws to be cruel but to show love.

"Just trust me." 

"Jesus said to them, 'I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.'" - John 6:35

I'm reminded as I go through this season without gluten that I have spiritual bread that will never cease to fail me. I never have to stand before a spiritual refrigerator, mumbling about how there's literally no food, for my Savior will never hesitate to fill me up. My spiritual life never starts crying because there's no safe water anywhere on campus, as my Savior will always care for me.

"So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." 1st Corinthians 10:31

I'm Not Okay With This

Dear everyone,

I have something to say.

Our culture is killing our children.

This weekend, I worked at a D-Now at a friend's church. I was assigned to the Blue Team (Deja Blue!!! We rocked!!!), and I had 9 8th grade girls at my host home. We had fun. We learned about the Gospel. Kids came to know Christ. It was amazing.

Over the weekend, I also had to refer two girls for further counseling to the main ministry staff.

Depression.

Self harm.

Suicide.

We're talking about 13 year old girls here. Beautiful 13 year old girls who desire to end their lives. Smart middle school kids who take a knife to their skin to get through the day. Children who have already seen so much hurt and pain and sorrow, and have no reason to keep going. 

I'm not okay with this.

Many of you know the story of how God rescued me from my own depression and self harm. The story of how it shaped my identity and changed me to the core. The story of how I would not change a day of my depression because I see how God can use my story to influence others.

I thank God for my struggles. I thank God for the anxiety and the tears and the long nights and morning that seemed to never come. I thank God for the fear and shame and pain and hurt.

That said, I'm not okay with the rising statistics.

According to statistics from 2011:

• 40% of kids attempting suicide made their first suicide attempt in elementary or middle school.
• 1 in 9 kids attempt suicide by the time they graduate high school.
• Suicide rates rise quickly at 6th grade, and peak about 2 years later.
• The average age of students who have attempted suicide multiple times made their first attempt around 3rd grade.

Take a second and read those statistics again. Let that sink in. Realize the implications of this.

Realize that those statistics are from 2011. It's 2015, people.

It's not hard to see that the statistics on the rise.

And that's just suicide.

Although self-harmers are at an increased risk for attempting/committing suicide, they are NOT the same thing. 

Self-harm is defined by an intentional injury to one's own body for with non-leathal intentions. Cutting, burning, snapping with a rubber band... the list is long and the options are many. Cutting is probably the most known, but is not the only option.

I'm not okay with this. And I want to make a difference.

Today, March 1st, is National Self Harm Awareness Day.

I'm asking you to join me in trying to make a difference.

Not by doing, but by being.

By showing love.

By caring.

By knowing.

By deciding that it's not okay.

Maybe you know someone who struggles with either of these very closely related issues.

Maybe you can make a difference.

- Emily -