"I get frustrated with the whole freewill vs sovereignty thing and stuff. I want to believe it, it seems to be true, but I don't fully believe it."
Way to get deep, my friend. Love deep questions. Deep questions make me happy.
In short, there is no short. There are whole books about this. Here's my attempt at short. Yay questions!
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Merriam Webster defines "Free will" as "voluntary; spontaneous".
In Genesis 3, we see this concept clearly illustrated as Eve voluntarily decides to disobey. She had free will, and she used it to sin. Throughout the Bible, we see that man has a choice to obey or disobey God.
Merriam Webster defines "Sovereignty" as "having absolute power over"
1 Chronicles 29:11-12 says, "Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is yours. Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, and you are exalted as head above all. Both riches and honor come from you, and you rule over all. In your hand are power and might, and in your hand it is to make great and to give strength to all."
As A.W. Tozer wrote so eloquently, "Even to discuss the authority of Almighty God seems a bit meaningless, and to question it would be absurd. Can we imagine the Lord God of Hosts having to request permission of anyone or to apply for anything to a higher body? To whom would God go for permission? Who is higher than the Highest? Who is mightier than the Almighty? Whose position antedates that of the Eternal? At whose throne would God kneel? Where is the greater one to whom He must appeal?"
Tozer, A.W. (2012-08-12). The Knowledge of the Holy (p. 109). Fig. Kindle Edition.
The question asked is, in it's simplicity, "How does man's free will and God's sovereignty coexist?"
A.W. Tozer also asked this question: "Another real problem created by the doctrine of the divine sovereignty has to do with the will of man. If God rules His universe by His sovereign decrees, how is it possible for man to exercise free choice? And if he can not exercise freedom of choice, how can he be held responsible for his conduct? Is he not a mere puppet whose actions are determined by a behind-the-scenes God who pulls the strings as it pleases Him?"
Tozer, A.W. (2012-08-12). The Knowledge of the Holy (p. 110). Fig. Kindle Edition.
He continues to explain that there has become two camps of thought on this issue, based on the works of theologians Jacobus Arminius and John Calvin. This is often called the Calvinist–Arminian debate.
Calvinist states that, "God appointed the eternal destiny of some to salvation by grace, while leaving the remainder to receive eternal damnation for all their sins, even their original sin. The former is called "unconditional election", and the latter "reprobation". In Calvinism, people are predestined and effectually called in due time (regenerated/born again) to faith by God."
Quote from Wikipedia
On the contrary, "Arminius taught that Calvinist predestination and unconditional election made God the author of evil. Instead, Arminius insisted, God's election was an election of believers and therefore was conditioned on faith. Furthermore, Arminius argued, God's exhaustive foreknowledge did not require a doctrine of determinism."
Quote from Wikipedia
With the knowledge that this has been a debate since the early 17th century, we can see that this is no easy question to answer. The Bible is not explicitly clear on which view is "correct".
That being said, I identify closer to the Arminian view. However, as a creature bound by time, I don't know that man can truly gasp either side of this discussion fully. How an an un-sovereign man understand a sovereign God? How can we begin to grasp how much free will we have without being able to see what we don't have control over?
To quote Doctor Who, "People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff." So in your considerations, remember that our God is the God of time; he created time and is therefore unbound by time.
As much as I don't know, I do know this: God is infinitely good. God is infinitely more good than I could ever be or ever understand. And so, even though I don't understand completely, I do understand that whichever situation is correct, I know that it's good.
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So, my friend. It's a very basic explanation that basically just said, "I don't think anyone truly knows." But I hope it lets you see that there's two views. Perhaps that makes the issue more confusing, perhaps it adds a dimension to your thoughts.
I recommend you read "Knowledge of the Holy" by A.W. Tozer. He writes about the qualities of God and I think will answer a lot of your questions. I will see you soon, friend, and we'll talk more then.
